I’ve been sitting here for the last 30 minutes trying to write. To just write SOMETHING. But I feel like I’m just slogging through mud, trying to make my brain form sentences that my fingers can type. Sentences that (hopefully) make sense. I clearly haven’t gotten very far. Which makes sense since that’s how I’ve been feeling anyway.
To be honest, the past few months have kicked my tail in ways I never expected so I think I’ve been laying low and taking cover. I hate boxing so I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I feel like a tired and bruised boxer that is just trying to keep up. Gloves over the face, weaving *slightly* back and forth, trying to stay standing long enough to make it to the next round – but not really making any progress in the current one. It’s not about avoiding the punches. It’s trying to minimize the impact. And it’s certainly not about punching back. Not at this point.
(I almost just googled the rules of boxing to see if that analogy was even somewhat correct but do you know what I don’t really care about knowing? The rules of boxing.)
The thing about just laying low and playing it safe is that you’re not actually going anywhere. You’re not making much progress – or any at all. You’re not taking ANY of the big swings. And the small swings are just enough to keep you in the game but not enough to get you anywhere. I think the past few months I’ve been a little too focused on not getting knocked down again. That’s it.
I know how big God is. Sometimes I forget.
This morning I woke up with that reminder on my heart. Grief is weird. Worrying about your people is hard. Not feeling well is annoying. (Remembering to give myself grace is almost impossible.) But God is bigger than all of that.
It’s a good reminder to start the week. And maybe someone else needed to hear that too.
So? Happy Monday.