the not-so-everyday

point of reference

When is it ok to say that your kids are your friends? You know…I’m asking for a friend. Or something.

The thing is that ‘my friend’ realizes how delicate that statement is or can be. It’s not about being the “cool mom” friend person that lets the parties happen or buys booze for the entire squad. I am – I mean, my friend is – mom first before anything else. It just so happens that my friend really likes and enjoys her kids.

Me. I really like and enjoy my kids.

And come to think of it, one of those really awesome kiddos turned 21 this weekend so buying booze for the squad is far less scandalous that it used to be.

Technically I didn’t buy her any of this booze even though I could have. So…

I’ll be honest, it’s hard to not think of myself each time she reaches a new milestone. That sounds SUPER self involved but it really is more that I am disbelief that we are reaching such milestones and also because it’s weird to think about the fact that she was was TWO when *I* was her age.

Weird.

Also, thanks for not having a two-year old right now, Paige. I really appreciate it.

Also, thanks for being super likable and great. Side note.

We nearly cancelled our Napa plans we had made for Paige’s birthday. My in-laws really wanted to take her to their favorite winery but my father in-law had some weird setbacks and complications after being in the hospital a week ago. Cancer is complicated all in its own, but there have definitely been a few more issues thrown in for good measure. It seems ridiculous and reckless to even attempt our excursion, but my father in-law hates to be the reason plans are changed our cancelled. He hates slowing down in any way and he really wanted to make this trip happen. So at the last minute (literally) we just decided to do it.

I feel like this particular season encompasses so much of what life is all about. The duality of joy and sadness and every complicated emotion in between. Including a lot of unknowns and stepping out in faith. We have no idea what the next few months are going to bring to our family, so we’ve quietly decided to no put off some of these things we’ve talked about doing. We make rash decisions to hop in the car and head to Napa because celebrating our people and making memories has become a priority.

I am sure that my kid would’ve loved to not have all of this heavy stuff surround much of her birthday. And it sucks that so much of growing up is marked with really hard things and situations. But I was also so incredibly proud of the grace in which she handled it all. Knowing full well that while all of this was *for* her birthday it also kinda…wasn’t. And I don’t think anyone could tell the difference by looking at her because she’s just so good at loving her people.

It’s been a crazy year for birthdays in the family. Milestones that feel impossible and wonderful all at the same time. And in between the crazy and impossible and joy and the sorrow, I am just so proud and amazed by these humans I happened to bring into this world.

Happy birthday, kid. You truly make this world a better and brighter place. You are magic and grace and love and sunshine all wrapped up in the awesome that is Paige.

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